Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
