Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I looked at my own cervix.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
