Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize