did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
