In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
