Kiss
Puke
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
