Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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