I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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