im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
