12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Shame - the story of my life.
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