i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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