you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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