dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
