The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize