Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
