There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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