He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
