sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
