She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
