I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
