my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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