how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
