i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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