i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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