5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
