I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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