my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
