I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He felt like a one man threesome
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
