Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
