i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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