We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
