i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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