It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were trust falling into bushes
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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