I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
that may or may not have been my penis.
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