i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
