Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
