have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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