His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
