This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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