Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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