Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
