i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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