listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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