The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
