My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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