Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
