I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
