Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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