Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize