i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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