sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize