Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
