She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
