I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
