How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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