similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize