hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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