My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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