Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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