time to smoke my breakfast
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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