I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
