Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
