..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
