these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
