I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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