lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
