Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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