You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
