im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
